Calling All Captions #13

Hello everybody and welcome back to another crazy caption contest.

The results are in from the nationwide vote and although it was close, Marty’s “sister wives” caption took the win over Sean B’s “preferred to be shot” and Robin’s “shotgun wedding” comments. Congratulations (again!), Marty. You deserve to take the old Wally Wagon out for a victory lap in the La Entrada parking lot. Enjoy.

As for this week’s new picture, you may or may not recognize the subject. Even if you do notice the resemblance, please don’t hold back on his account. He deserves your best. Post your captions in the comments section below and at some point next week we’ll put the whole thing to a vote.

Good luck.

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Calling All Captions #12

The votes have been tabulated in last week’s historic Caption Contest “election ” and the tribe definitely wants Beusch, Mike Beusch.

Mike’s margin of victory was three to one over two second place competitors with his “You look fabulous” winning caption. Congratulations duuuude!

Here’s this week’s picture:

Just like last time, we will let the captions roll in for a few days before I post a poll, most likely on Friday. Good luck.

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Calling All Captions #11

In order to give the people what they want, the brain trust here at alsboy.com has decided to bring the caption contest back.

(Waiting for the applause to die down).

This time around, we are going to let you, the reader, vote for your favorite caption.

Here’s how it will work:

A few days after the picture goes up and we have several worthy caption candidates, I will post a poll at the bottom of the page with the best of the best entries for you to vote on in order to choose a winner for the week.

Basically, I’m planning for the poll to go up and the voting to start by Wednesday afternoon at 5 pm PDT.

So, you have between now and then to think of something to go with this:

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Calling All Captions #10

I swear that my intentions were to change it from a weekly contest to a bi-weekly one but the fates intervened and conspired to keep its return under wraps for exactly one month.

Until now.

Welcome back to the little caption contest that could. Rather than waste everyone’s time with yet another filibuster, let’s just get to the winning caption.

1984. Big Brother wished he didn't have to watch. By Marty

Congrats to our second twice-decorated champion Marty on her much-deserved Double U. For your W(in), you’re taking home a lifetime supply of Turtle wax, five pounds of Swedish Fish, and unlimited rides on Stanford’s Marguerite Shuttle. Great work and enjoy.

Here are the runner-ups:

• God of Love in the front, party in the back. That’s how Cupid rolls.  By Mick
• Man, Old Spice commercials sure have changed over the years.  By Patrick “Higgy” Higgins
• Mary Beth and Billy Bob posing for a prom photo at Ted Nugent High.  By JWoo

Props to you, gentlemen.

At long last, I present to you this week’s picture. Good luck.

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Calling All Captions #9

Hey ya’ll!  Sorry about getting this post up later than usual but would you believe me if I told you that I was fairly active this weekend with a trip to my old school for an anniversary event, to the mall for some chapeau shopping, and then up to Vancouver, BC for a little Cuban Canadian salsa dancing? Well, believe what you want but that’s my story and I’m sticking to (most) of it.

Here’s this week’s winner:

Betty was surprisingly calm. She expected her life to flash before her eyes, but the only image she could see was Sparky's face buried in that poodle's ass 5 minutes earlier. - by Matt

Woooooo!  Congratulations to Matt on being our first two time winnah.  As far as the prizes are concerned, I had to reach out to this blog’s sponsorship partners of yesteryear to ensure that they were truly worthy of a twice-crowned champeen.  (And be sure to click on each hyperlink below to get the full effect of each prize). You’ve won a stack of Polaroid camera film from Denevi , a California king-sized waterbed from Ed Barbara at Furniture USA and a guaranteed line of credit courtesy of Paul from the DiamondCenter.  Enjoy the stash, Matt.

Also deserving recognition are the runner-ups for this week.

• Having swallowed four goldfish, an iguana, a parrot, and the family cat whole, Tippy now sought bigger game. – by Mike Beusch
• Poor Linda didn’t know her recent weight gain would activate a deep seated herding response in Max, her beloved frisbee-catching sheepdog. – by  Philip Arcuni
• Wait a minute! You’re not Jacob! HELP!! – by Sean B

Excellent work, gentlemen.

Here’s the new picture.  Good luck!

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Calling All Captions #8

Howdy folks and welcome back to another edition of this blog’s up and coming weekly featurette:  The Calling All Captions caption contest.  The assembled panel of judges had our work cut out for us this week choosing the best of the best but that’s why we get paid the big bucks.  And the winner is …

Ladies and gentlemen... ...REO Douchewagon! - by Mick

Major league props to Mick for coining THE perfect phrase for this week’s photo.  As for what you will be receiving for your winning efforts, we pulled out all the stops and spared no expense on your behalf:  A lifetime supply of woodwind reeds from Frank Catalano’s ABC Music in (sunny) San Bruno, a never-ending tray of lumpia pulled right from the oven, and a personalized parking space at the Shell station in Pinole.  It should be noted that Pinhole has perennially been voted California’s friendliest town for stranded motorists driving white Chevy Malibus.  I betcha didn’t know that, didja?

All that chamber of commerce crap aside, congratulations to Mick for being the top dawg this week!

Here are the runner-ups:

• Richard Simmons unveils the Dream Team – by Kevin Connell
• The executives at Chess King soon realized that holding an open casting call for their 1989 catalogue was a bad idea, ultimately leading to the retailer’s untimely demise. – by Traci
• Cast of Jersey Shore signs on for its tenth season! – by Dave (via Nicole)

Congrats to all of you as well.  Good work.

All right, let’s get to this week’s new picture.  Buena suerte.

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Calling All Captions #7

Whattup, Peeps!  (And yes, by Peeps I am referring to those delectable little sugar-coated marshmallow thingies that people seem to have around the house this time of the year.  You know you love them.  For a little extra holiday fun, try putting a Peep in the microwave.  It’ll be the highlight of your day, I swear).

Anyway, welcome back to another caption contest.  Since I’ve rambled on enough already, let’s just get to last week’s winner.

Unfortunately, the party planners misconstrued Fat Joe's suggestion to "make it rain." - Ameena El-Bibany

Congratulations to Ameena El-Bibany for earning the big prize this week.  In addition to making your first title defense of the Coveted Caption Contest Crown, you have won the following items:  Free California Aggie newspapers for as long as you attend UCD, a lifetime supply of cheese (courtesy of the fine folks at the Milk Farm on highway 80), and the knowledge that after all those times you entered my caption contests in middle school, you have finally made it to the top of the hill.  Props once again, Ameena!

Here are this week’s runner-ups:

• Never having grown an appreciation of humor, Phil, head of the janitorial services, mistook the meaning of a teacher’s passing comment that the class of 2012 “ought to be sterilized.” – Iris
• Celebrating the school’s first “flush toilet.” – Jeff
• April 18, 2007, was a day of anger, rage and mayhem, when Sanjaya was voted off of American Idol. – Matt

Congrats to the three of you as well.  Great work.

Now, I present to you, the picture for this week’s contest.  Good luck.

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Calling All Captions #6

Greetings and salutations to all you Captains of the Caption out there and welcome back for another week of mischievous mayhem and cleverly-crafted calisthenics of the verbal variety in the form of our weekly Caption Contest.

Thanks to a late-week surge in entries, this week’s competition certainly heated up.

Though her parents insisted there were no wheelchairs in Medieval times (centaurs, breast tattoos and dead rabbit necklaces, yes, but wheelchairs, no), Erica managed to sneak into the family photo anyway. - Traci

Congrats to Traci for earning the title of Caption Contest Champion for the week.  Along with the bragging rights afforded to winning contestants for the next six to seven consecutive days, you have also earned quite an impressive prize package:  An original cast recording of Capuchino High School’s 1986 production of Grease on cassette tape, a special once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to view the directors cut of the seen-by-dozens film entitled Colma The Musical, and backstage passes to the next Band Camp performance.  Enjoy your well-earned stash of stuff, Tra!

Here are the runner-ups for the week:

• Disappointed at how the blind date was going, Cindy left the Renaissance fair because she was feeling a little hoarse. – Patrick “Higgy” Higgins
• Please tell me I’m adopted. – Julie
• Woman:  “I know your personal ad said you were ‘Hung Like a Horse’, but this is ridiculous… ” – Sean B
• His career sinking, Charlie Sheen agreed to star in the new WB series Three and a Douche Bags, about a Modesto family and their struggling Dungeons and Dragons Theme park. – Matt

Also, special consideration goes to Ross for the funniest entry that 90% of our readers didn’t get with his mention of the Aristocrats.  You’ve been awarded the prestigious Referencia Obscura Prize for your efforts.  Congratulations to you, Ross.

Thank you all for participating in the contest this time.  I really appreciate it.  Good luck this week!

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Calling All Captions #5

Hello my friends and welcome back to yet another edition of the most popular caption contest on this blog.  Thank you for making Calling All Captions a part of your online lives these first four weeks of its existence.  It only gets better from here so be sure to spread the word about what we’re doing here to folks who would enjoy it.  Thanks again.

Let’s check out the winning entry from last time.

"You have done well, my young apprentice. I shall call you Darth Sharpie. Now ... RISE!" - Sean B.

Congratulations on your victory, Sean B, from all of us in the wretched hive of scum and villainy at the Mos Eisley cantina.  Along with the bejeweled and bedazzled “captionship” crown, you have won a year’s worth of lodging at the swanky and luxurious Viking Apartments on D Street in Davis.  Also included in this spectacular prize package is the greatest hits disc of The Steve Miller Band as well as the complete series of Mr Belvedere on DVD.  Happy lodging, listening, and viewing, Sean!

A round of applause goes out to the following runner-ups:

• Batman’s nemesis The Joker had an arch enemy even earlier in life called “The Doodler”. – bvd
• Little Chrissy’s career as a tattoo artist ended as swiftly as it began. – Traci
• But you said, “Kiss and makeup!” – Kevin Connell

I would also like to say thank you to everyone who submitted a caption but came up a little short of seeing your name on the list above.  It takes a lot of courage to even put something out there and I recognize and commend your efforts.  Props to you, too.

Now, enough of all this feel-good stuff, here’s the new picture for this week.  It’s not like you’re gonna need it this time around, but good luck all the same.  This photo is overflowing with potential captions!

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Calling All Captions #4

Hello there, everyone!  Sorry for the tardiness of this post but I’m working through an industrial strength-sized hangover from this raging birthday party last night.  We woke up with a tiger in the bathroom, a baby named Carlos in the closet, and our friend Doug was missing.

Anyway, on to the winning entry from last week.

Who you calling a pussy!! - Kenny

Congratulations to Kenny, husband of Donna, on earning the W for the week.  Your prize package includes free VHS rentals for life at Speedy Spot in San Bruno (but only when Sonny is working) and dinner for two at TGI Friday’s (San Bruno location only).  Props to you, Kenny, and good luck defending your crown this time.

Here are the runner-ups:

• E Pluribus Unum, my arse.  Felines rule. – Bibliotekaren
• The cat blithely made a trip to American Eagle Outfitters. – Philip Arcuni
• Cat. The other white meat. – Matt

Thank you to everyone who entered, keep ’em coming.  I appreciate your continued participation.

Without further adieu, I present to you this week’s picture:

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