Most evenings, from about 8 o’clock onward, the time I spend on the recliner with the Bi-Pap tethered to my face is a complete mystery to me as to how the television program I catch the beginning of actually ends.
I know that was an awkwardly constructed sentence. My bad.
Basically, I usually fall asleep midway through whatever it is we’re watching.
But that was not the case last night.
Once Emma headed off to dreamland, Fehmeen grabbed the Comcast remote from the coffee table and pressed the My DVR button so we could begin to make a dent in our backlogged show queue.
My wife pressed play on the latest episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey and away we went…
…to join our sleeping daughter in dreamland.
I sacked out almost immediately after the opening credits were done. I even missed out on watching the replay of Teresa’s inebriated hubby, Joe Giudice, chipping a tooth by bouncing his face off the floor of his foyer.
All I knew is that I woke up during a commercial.
Which was weird because typically Fehmeen fast-forwards right past any advertisements that happen to appear on our 42″ Mitsubishi flat screen.
One quarter turn of my head to the right and I saw that my matrimonial partner had fallen asleep as well. Aww, how cute, was my initial thought.
Groggily, I refocused my attention on the television and this is what I think I saw:
It was an ad for some kind of supplement, like a fish oil or an omega 3, created by the fine folks at Chia.
Yes, that Chia.
Ch Ch Ch Chia.
Apparently, the same stuff that grows on the ceramic cats, dogs, and even Mr T’s and Obama’s has nutritional value and/or is good for you.
The next thing you know they’ll be selling us that Sea Monkeys are high in fiber, that ShamWows make excellent diapers, and that if you wear a Snuggy backwards, it’s almost the same as a robe.
Please someone tell me they’ve seen this commercial and that I wasn’t hallucinating the whole thing.