Not Hardly Working

Sorry for the lack of fresh posts around here these days but it’s not for lack of trying. On a given day, 3 hours toiling at the keyboard yields about 120 words. It’s frustrating, exhausting, and demoralizing.

Until the day arrives when Kaiser grants my request for Eyegaze Assistive Technology, I am heretofore adopting what I refer to as Manifesto MMX. For the foreseeable future, my life boils down to the following four words: WRITE LESS, LIVE MORE.

By simply shifting paradigms, it is my intention to alleviate a lot of the self-imposed stresses this latest period of diminished productivity has brought to the forefront of my consciousness.

Basically, the memoir is on temporary hiatus.

As for the fate of this blog, come back tomorrow — and nearly every day after that — to see what I’ve got planned.

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”Pretty”

I am undecided as to which aspect of Emma’s Ear Piercing Extravaganza at Claire’s in the Hillsdale Mall a couple of Saturdays ago was the most memorable.

It could have been the insouciant manner in which the store employee pointed to the words ASSISTANT MANAGER on his name tag when Fehmeen asked him if he had any experience working with a child of Emma’s age. Like, OMG, ma’am. OMG.

Or maybe it was the fact that the typically commercially robust accessories store was devoid of any paying customers the ENTIRE twenty minutes we were in there. The blood-curdling screams of the Bug could be heard as far away as the food court.

Perhaps it was in the still moments after-the-fact as she sat on my lap in front of Claire’s, her lips the color of the orange lollipop aiding and abetting her recovery, when she uttered the one word she knew to describe her current state that I’ll remember the most.

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As Close As We’re Gonna Get

Barring a change of heart by Emma, which would prompt a hopefully tear-free return visit to the Hillsdale Mall Santa in the remaining fourteen shopping days before Christmas, it appears that this photo, taken moments after the Big Guy’s arrival by helicopter at the San Carlos Airport, is as close as we’re gonna get this year to having a picture snapped of our intrepid little Emmabug on Santa’s lap.

Happy Holidays 2009

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The Way You Do the Things You Do

Dear Emma,

Just in case you don’t remember, here are a few things about you that I will never forget.

You love to wear your mommy’s jewelry. Then you walk around the house with an armful of bracelets telling everyone how “byooful” you look.

Emma, what does Nani call you? ENNA RANI (shouted)

What does Mommy call  you? su su (whispered)

You are the Houdini of the under two crowd when it comes to buckling and unbuckling the safety latches on high chairs, strollers, and shopping carts. Bookle bookle, okay?

Whenever we hear you say “no looking” and then you run to your corner behind the green chair, we all know that you’re hard at work on a stinky little surprise in your diaper.

You will always be our pillow diva.

You call the Slumdog Millionaire scriptbook your ABC book because it doesn’t have pictures, only words.

Your favorite cartoons are Curious George, Sid the Science Kid, Super Why, and Dinosaur Train. Weekday mornings, 8 to 10, on PBS.

You love all animals, especially kitties. doggies, and birdas. Who knows, maybe someday soon, you may be getting a birda of your own.

I really like pretending to be asleep just so you can scare me by shouting AWAKE.

Emma, how old are you? “One and a half.”

“Elevator” is what you said pointing to the elevator door of the hotel in L A when we were checking in.

Where does Mommy buy her coffee? ”Starbucks”

Current favorite word to say:  hanguber (instead of hamburger)

Your go to phrases: Upee upee, more, no.

And the ever popular: Shot, hurt, anti-bodies.

When we asked your skeptical pediatrician if she thought you were advanced for your age, you pointed to a paper towel on the floor near the trash can and said ”mess.” Then you noticed the Purell on the wall and said ”lotion.” Okay, question answered.

What baby points to her crib and says night night when it’s naptime? Only you.

”My Best Friend” and ”Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” are songs whose lyrics you know by heart.

Ain’t nuthin’ better than your middle of dinner ”popsa.” That’s a mini popsicle, fyi.

Sharing two cups of apple sauce with you every day is the highlight of my day, by far.

I know it’s the number one song on your hit parade, but remind me to tell you the story of the first and last time I played the chicken dance in my band.

Emma, even though the past two years have been a challenge for me, thanks to you they’ve also been the best. I have smiled, laughed, and loved more in the 20 months that you have been in my life than the other 468 months that preceded your arrival. You inspire me to live. Thank you for being you.

I love you the most in this world,

Daddy

Photo courtesy of Auntie Alia's FB Collection

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