A Post with the Most

My apologies for the lack of productivity on the blog lately. There’s nothing wrong with the eye gaze or with me — besides still having ALS — so there’s no need to wonder what’s going on with your friendly neighborhood quadripleege. I’m a-otay!

Here’s what I’ve been up to:

Preparing for another season of Fantasy Football. Longtime readers will recall Fehmeen’s absolute disdain for the hobby but she had a last-minute change of heart when she appeared on draft day with my league’s entry fee wearing an Al Davis-approved white jogging suit. I knew she was good to go when she told me to “just win, baby!”

Making spreadsheets with Google docs. Since my eye gaze system didn’t come with Office installed on it — and not to mention that it lacks a cd drive — I’ve had to make do without Excel (or even Word). Thank goodness for Google docs! I was able to create a fancy spreadsheet to use on draft day.

In case you were curious, you should be rooting for Vikings RB Adrian Peterson, Falcons WR Roddy White and Saints QB Drew Brees to do well this year as they were my top three picks. If only to make my wife happy by getting our money back at least.

Playing Hearts. It took me a few games to get back into a winning strategy mindset, but I think I’m almost there. Being short suited is helpful as is having relatively low valued hearts. One of these days I may forsake the safety of the desktop and venture online for some human competition.

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Field Trip to The City

The Picetti clan, minus Fehmeen (who was teaching) and plus Julian (who is our caregiver and BoostMaster), took a field trip up to the California Academy of Sciences in San Francisco this morning.

Earlier this summer we saw a commercial advertising the lizards and snakes exhibit there and we knew immediately that it would be right up Emma’s alley. Fehmeen purchased tickets in June but I wasn’t feeling well at the time we originally planned to go. And then two months later the summer and the exhibit are almost over…

Anyway.

The first thing Emma saw as we rolled in was the Tyrannosaurus Rex fossils in the main entryway. “Dinosaur,” she kept saying as she pointed up to it from her stroller. It should be noted that we had just watched the T Rex scene in Jurassic Park not even three days ago.

Our first stop was on the second floor for the aforementioned lizards and snakes extravaganza. Thankfully we had arrived early enough in the day so we had a practically unobstructed view of each one of the reptiles behind the plexiglass. I think Emma enjoyed the iguana most of all, in part because she saw it yawning, and because it has a cool sounding name.

We then visited the rain forest. Seriously. It was amazing to experience that kind of tropical ecosystem in Golden Gate Park. There were giant blue parrots, more snakes and lizards, and even hundreds of butterflies fluttering around. Thank goodness we forgot my Giants wearable blanket in the van because it was hotter than heck in there.

The next port of call was the aquarium. Lots of Emma jawdrops in this room. Especially notable was the large sea turtle and the gigantic catfish that practically swam up to Emma in the tunnel tank. She also liked touching the starfish and seaweed.

We tried to stick around for the Snakes of the Bay Area presentation but were collectively underwhelmed by the educators excessive verbosity and adamant no touching the snakes policy. Basically, we were hungry for lunch.

Except for me. I had a Boost before they started the show.

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Voting for Contest #12

In the spirit of trying out new things, I had this idea last night to put the Caption Contest poll on its own separate page, as opposed to having to backtrack to find the original post, just so you can vote on your favorite caption for the week.

Let me know via the comment section below which way you prefer.

Here’s the picture again, which is followed by the poll for you to use to choose the best entry. Thanks for participating.

Because I care, here’s a link back to the original page in the event that you wish to view the captions in their uncondensed glory.

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The Week of A Thousand Appointments

Actually, it was only six appointments but, for some reason, a thousand sounded a whole lot more dramatic than the real number.

I apologize in advance if you were hoping to read about the additional 994 other appointments I hyperbolized about going to in the title. My bad!

We started out the week on Monday with a visit from Jen and her acupuncture kit. For the first time in a long time I actually felt the chi flowing through my body (particularly my arms).

Laurie came over Tuesday for my hour long massage therapy session. Don’t know if you know this but Jack Johnson’s live cd is perfectly suited to accompany sixty minutes worth of massage time.

Wednesday afternoon I went to see Lindsey and Robin at Robin’s office. At one point, as they pulled my hands and feet in opposite directions, I thought I was an extra in some middle ages torture movie.

We knocked out two appointments on Thursday. First stop was at Dr Ken’s for a much needed chiropractic adjustment. I love it when he cracks my neck. And then Julian and I hightailed to the theater to catch a matinee showing of (early Oscar hopeful) Final Destination 5. I gave it a B- grade.

Finally on Friday, my HMO-assigned wheelchair guy stopped by with some new wheels and a more supportive headrest. The wheels are great but he completely whiffed on the other thing. It was neither supportive or comfortable in any way — even though he kept asking me if it was as my now-out-of-alignment neck was bent awkwardly down and to the left. The whole episode could have been salvaged if he would have remembered to bring something to hold my head in place on the headrest — like we asked for during our consultation four weeks earlier — but he just acted as if this was news to him.

Anyway, it sucks to end such a good week on a shitty note but what am I supposed to do, blog about it?

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E Ticket Ride

I felt the tugging tightness emanating from the center of my chest just as I was about to drift off to dreamland Wednesday night around eleven.

It didn’t feel particularly painless to my nearly unconscious mind and body at the time it happened. It was as if something inside me was slowly being rotated, counterclockwise, and, at the same moment,  was also being drawn out of me.

The intensity of the spinning and pulling seemed to be increasing the deeper into the feeling I allowed myself to go — if that makes any sense — and soon enough, it almost felt as if I was being stretched across the length of the bed.

It was as freaky as it was exhilarating.

Before this strange sensation could continue for another second, I thought I detected the taste of hard plastic (with a touch of saliva) being wedged between my pursed lips. As I forced one of my eyes open, I could see that my night nurse was standing over with the suction machine cranked up to eleven.

It’s a mystery as to what he was even doing there at the time — suction is typically something I request — but as soon as I focused my attention on my mouth, the feeling in my chest dissipated into so much nothingness.

Thanks, I think.

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Calling All Captions #12

The votes have been tabulated in last week’s historic Caption Contest “election ” and the tribe definitely wants Beusch, Mike Beusch.

Mike’s margin of victory was three to one over two second place competitors with his “You look fabulous” winning caption. Congratulations duuuude!

Here’s this week’s picture:

Just like last time, we will let the captions roll in for a few days before I post a poll, most likely on Friday. Good luck.

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Chaps II

Emma woke up this morning as Fehmeen was finishing an episode of The Big C from our DVR.

The youngest Picetti waltzed into the living room at the exact time when a character onscreen was wearing a pair of chaps — without any pants!  And yes, there was definitely a full moon out this morning, if you know what I mean.

Well, our three year old daughter took notice and started peppering her mama with questions about the man’s fashion choice.

In the end, it was Emma’s remark about how some things are better private and Fehmeen’s answer to the question about why he’s wearing those pants without the butt with “because he’s hot” that cracked me up the most.

Click here for my other Chaps story.

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Luke Puked

It was with equal parts of terror and amusement did Emma bear witness to her swimming lesson partner’s throwing up in the pool yesterday.

Apparently, the young lad took on a little too much water while floating on his back. The coughs came first, which were followed by a few dry heaves, and then it was showtime.

He barfed in the pool and on the deck and on his swimsuit.

During the whole affair Emma gleefully recounted to everyone within earshot the one and only time she upchucked in her life — it was while she was sleeping in bed and involved chili.

And before you get to feeling sorry for the young master Luke, he was back in the pool not five minutes after it happened.

I doubt that would have been the case if he would have dropped a floater in there.

+_+_+_+

The Caption Contest poll has been added to the previous post. Scroll down or go here to vote for your favorite.

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Calling All Captions #11

In order to give the people what they want, the brain trust here at alsboy.com has decided to bring the caption contest back.

(Waiting for the applause to die down).

This time around, we are going to let you, the reader, vote for your favorite caption.

Here’s how it will work:

A few days after the picture goes up and we have several worthy caption candidates, I will post a poll at the bottom of the page with the best of the best entries for you to vote on in order to choose a winner for the week.

Basically, I’m planning for the poll to go up and the voting to start by Wednesday afternoon at 5 pm PDT.

So, you have between now and then to think of something to go with this:

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As Promised

Having never been buzzed — hairstyle-wise, of course — the time was right for a radically different, and most importantly, low maintenance, look for the outside of my dome.

Basically, I no longer resemble The Donald with a small furry critter on my head. Don’t know if I’ll ask for the same thing next time I visit Supercuts.

Oh well, life’s a learning curve.

This is NOT the newest caption contest picture! 🙂

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