Lost Mojo

July 5, 2011 by alsboy

I’d be lying if I came on here and told you that all is well with me.

It’s just this damn fatigue that’s keeping me down. I wake up after eight plus hours of sleep (2 hours down, 5 minutes up to get rolled over and suctioned, 1 hour down, 5 minutes up and so on throughout the night), a potty break, and a shower, and the first thing I want to do once I get that morning Boost (breakfast) into my belly is to close my eyes. They open and close sporadically through the last hour of the local news and whatever movie we happen to find that starts at or near nine o’clock. I reassess the situation about an hour and a half to two hours later and inevitably discover that my eyelids refuse to stay open.

Once I manage to get online with the eye gaze, the only thing I’m interested in doing is to passively look at pages. I have tried to write this post for the last four days but I crap out before I get very far. My mojo just ain’t flowing these days.

Like right now… I’ve been doing this for over an hour and I’m not really feeling it anymore. I’m not done with my thoughts but I’m over it for today.

I will publish this now so you know that I’m still alive and promise to continue tomorrow.

Posted in Uncategorized | 18 Comments

18 Responses

on July 5, 2011 at 8:44 pm | Reply cyndi

Summer hibernation? Here’s a little love from Brazil that may or may not help the eyelids stay open! Depends on your tolerance for incomprehension or your knowledge of Portuguese or any other factor you can think of!
on July 5, 2011 at 8:57 pm | Reply Dan

Pasta,

Post when you can bud. It’s OK to recharge your mind and body.
on July 5, 2011 at 10:33 pm | Reply Kim M

Jason, sending you some love and energy
xo
the marshall family
on July 6, 2011 at 3:21 am | Reply Toma

Gonna try and send some mojos! 🙂

(hugs)
on July 6, 2011 at 5:19 am | Reply Roseanne

All the Minnesota mojo I can muster, coming your way.
on July 6, 2011 at 6:02 am | Reply Sean B.

Sounds like Dr. Evil is on the loose again!

Hang in there, buddy.
on July 6, 2011 at 7:08 am | Reply AN

I wonder if something can be prescribed? A little Vita-mina-vegamin kinda thing, Lucy. Seriously, some Coke poured into the ole feeding tube? An iced coffee? Good luck, I hope this passes quickly.

Much love, AN
on July 6, 2011 at 9:36 am | Reply Jenn

As much as I love reading your posts, I also know that it is more important for you to save your energy for your family and those around you. Wishing you well, and hoping you shake the fatigue so you can get all those fabulous thoughts out.
on July 6, 2011 at 2:53 pm | Reply Traci

Got that 2:30 feeling, huh? I’d be happy to lend you some of my mojo. Sending good psychic vibes and positive energy your way….
on July 6, 2011 at 2:54 pm | Reply Fehmeen Picetti

I know what the real problem is! Pre-ALS days Jason was a party animal who lived off of 4-5 hours of sleep. He never napped and never believed in taking a break from work. So, eventually, things are going to catch up to you. Look how the tables have turned, hubby. I used to be the napper in the family! I love you, and we WILL see better days; we ALWAYS do 🙂
on July 7, 2011 at 11:36 am | Reply Gloria

Dear Jason,

I am sorry your energy levels are so low right now and I am praying that you get your mojo back pronto!

I am not on a vent or peg, but after and sometime during my meals, I too, feel my eye lids closing and fight to stay awake.

My caregiver is typing this for me as I am in transition with my DynaVox, mouse, and switch to a head mouse. Use of my hands is exhausting.

The fact that you wrote this update gives me inspiration to keep going!

God Bless! My best to you and your family, Gloria.

P.S.Hope to see you at the movies again!
on July 7, 2011 at 1:35 pm | Reply Nicole

mojo mojo mojo mojo mojo mojo mojo mojo mojo mojo mojo
mojo mojo mojo mojo mojo mojo mojo mojo mojo mojo mojo
mojo mojo mojo mojo mojo mojo mojo mojo mojo mojo mojo
mojo mojo mojo mojo mojo mojo mojo mojo mojo mojo mojo

just wanted to send lots of mojos your way. 🙂

~Nicole
on July 7, 2011 at 5:04 pm | Reply Marty

I’m currently in the middle of a round of insomnia – I suggest getting a song in your head that you can’t get out to ensure many sleepless hours. Anyone have any suggestions? I’m currently replaying Roy Zimmerman’s “Summer of Loving”… although ABBA’s “Dancing Queen” runs a close second.

Seriously, hang in there. We know that the thoughts are there even if the motivation to put eye to screen isn’t.
on July 8, 2011 at 3:33 pm | Reply Traci

I like Marty’s earworm suggestion. Perhaps a little “10th Avenue Freeze-Out”? “Those Magic Changes”? Or maybe “Mickey” by Toni Basil? Good luck!
on July 11, 2011 at 10:12 am | Reply Bibliotekaren

Jason, I’m a faithful reader but a fickle commenter.

This isn’t repressed grief about Peter Parker is it? :0 Seriously, wishing you better days ahead, no blog guilt, and just take good care.

Donna
on July 11, 2011 at 10:15 am | Reply BVD

We’re all behind you Jason, hope your energy returns soon!
on July 11, 2011 at 5:47 pm | Reply Laurie

get well soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
on July 15, 2011 at 10:25 am | Reply jyk

I know what you mean about needing lots of naps 😉 Take care…