Upon my confirmation of her as my Facebook friend about a week or so ago, I decided to take a look at her profile to see if her face was more recognizable to me than her name was.
After flipping through her photos for a few moments, I decided to check out her wall posts. I discovered that a mutual friend had written something referring to me and another classmate of ours.
To the best of my recollection, it said, “…you know about Tom A and Jason Picetti then…”
Her response was along the lines of, “I’m new to Facebook etc…”
She didn’t pick up on what our mutual friend was trying to communicate to her. And to be quite honest with you, I didn’t really understand what he was getting at, either.
I clicked on over to Tom A’s page to what was going on over there but after a few quick minutes of checking things out, I put my curiosity on hold and bailed for a different website.
Several days later, I noticed Tom’s name appearing on a different friend’s wall in my Top News feed on my homepage.
It was then that I discovered that Tom had spent the last five years with cancer and had only just a few days earlier passed away.
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My condolences to Tom’s family for their loss.
* * * * *
Upon reading about his illness and passing, our sharing a place on someone’s wall post made complete sense to me now.
Of all the students in the Capuchino High School graduating Class of 1987, the two of us apparently had the most Wall-worthy backstories (courtesy of our diagnoses, I’m assuming).
It’s not the fact that I’m particularly private about having ALS — have you read the title of my blog? What it boils down to is that even though I’m extremely open about my life and what it has become these past three years, reading what it said on the wall that day was the first time (since the early days of my diagnosis) that I became acutely aware of my own mortality. Just to see with my own two eyes that classmates I haven’t thought about in over twenty years were aware of my circumstances just kind of freaked me out.
The feeling of dread I experienced that day subsided after several hours but the writing on the wall will linger with me for far longer.
The Adventures of ALS Boy 
OOoooo, while reading that I just got a block of ice in my stomach again. I had a similar experience just a few weeks ago. My graduating class has an annual letter that goes out each summer… pretty much every class member knows about it and contributes when it’s been a particularly newsworthy year…. new baby, new job, exciting travels, etc, etc. Only two letters have had sad parts… one, a friend with cancer, and another, a friend died in an ATV accident… it’s a pretty happy occasion to get your annual letter. This year, imagine my surprise when I see a note about ME on there. Granted, I’m still extremely close with a lot of these people and they know what is going on, but writing such a submission never occured to me (I’m pretty sure I wrote a fabulously witty and entertaining note about my beautiful new house and the backyard adventures of my genius yet incorrigible 4-year-old)… who knows who did it. But it sucks being the downer… never figured it would be me. And all the pity phone calls and emails with “I just knew I’d be reading about you on Broadway or getting a Ph.D., but I never expected this” has definitely not made me feel any better about it. I guess the most disturbing part is that people expect some kind of insightful and inspirational response and seem surprised that I don’t supply one. I certainly haven’t found the “right” response to such a declaration (is there a “right” response?). They’re shocked if I make a joke to try to ease the overbearing tension I feel coming through the phone line. And then THAT surprises me… anyone who truly knows me should expect exactly that: a joke, some cynical or sarcastic self-depricating remark, and a good laugh. That’s me. I’m still the same me every minute of every day. But unfortunately, having a life-changing circumstance or condition changes everyone around you. Anyways…. wow, this is long… sorry, Jason. Would love to email you sometime, but I don’t have your email (and no, don’t worry, you don’t know me… just been following your blog the last few weeks). All I can say is, carry on the way you are… it is perfect in every way. Feel free to email me if you want: glupavomomiche@yahoo.com
Ah, facebook. Such a tangled web it weaves. You are so much more than your diagnosis, Jason. Much love to you, Fehmeen, and Emma.
ALS is what I have, it is not who I am. I know what you mean about facing your own mortality, I’m president of the “I thought my life sucked but I’m glad I’m not you” ministry. Anyway, keep on living it up, maybe we’ll meet on a wall somewhere one day
First of all, i want to say that u are more than your diagnosis. Having a blog with the name ALS is your choice, it is YOU who writes what u think is important and what u believe has to be written, and I want to thank you for this, becasue u share it with us. But i think blog writing is bit different from wall discussions.
I would not feel good if my classmates were discussing the things about me on their walls, or without the walls.
Even in a simple cases, when one or another classmate tells to me for example “we are sure that u will definitely go to research”, or “I have heard your presentation was pretty good” etc. I feel extremely bad, becasue I know that I’ve been discussed. Does not matter what they said, i just hate being discussed behind my back!
Hey, this is The Adventures of ALS Boy! Just continue to be the awesome protagonist that you are and don’t get derailed by a couple of minor characters.
It’s amazing how clueless people can be about what they post on FB, as if the whole world can’t see their conversation. I hope they read this blog and it makes them think twice before they post from now on.
Hey Jason,
Have been traveling for work, so just doing a little catch up on the ALSBoy blog and saw this one. I know it is an older post, but I just can’t let it go by without commenting. I agree with Traci, that people are so clueless sometimes! I thought I would give you my thoughts on why my two classmates from the Capuchino class of 1987 are “Wall Worthy”. Back in high school both of you were great guys (actually you and I go all the way back to elementary school!). Great guys who got dealt a couple pretty bad cards in life. Two great guys who took this opportunity to educate the rest of us! Two great guys who grew into great men and have inspired many many people! That is why I think you and Tom A are “Wall Worthy” and so much more!
Your Old Roadrunner, Panther, & Mustang Classmate