If Ever I Need Someone

If ever I need someone to make me smile and laugh at any moment, even when that moment happens to be at such critical times like in the middle of a transfer from one seat to another or when I have a mouthful of mashed potatoes or when you tell me about Emma’s and your latest public outing, I smile at and laugh with you, Fehmeen.

If ever I need someone to remind me about what it is to be beautiful, from the day that we met in the teacher’s lounge (by the copy machine) to the way you looked in your Minnesota sweatshirt on our first weekend trip as a couple to Monterey (and we made fun of those Red Hat ladies) to how stunning you were at each of our three weddings and how you’ve looked each and every day since then, I gaze longingly at you, Fehmeen.

If ever I need someone to guide me to safety when I’m lost at sea, I look for you, Fehmeen, and your shining beacon of hope emanating from atop the lighthouse standing tall and proud on the rocky shore.

If ever I need someone to show me what it means to be strong, from your ability to manhandle my dead weight to the way you put my needs and Emma’s needs miles ahead of your own, or the way you work all day at school and when you get home, you still have the energy to play with our little girl while hanging out with and including me in your offbeat shenanigans, I look in awe at you, Fehmeen.

If ever I need someone to be inspired by, I find that inspiration in you, Fehmeen.  I marvel at the dedication you exhibit every day to your workout regimen, to your chosen profession and to your students, to your friends and family, to raising our daughter Emma, and to helping me survive to see another day.

And if ever I need some way to express how much I love you, Fehmeen, know that even though I am physically unable to tell you so with my own voice these days, every word I type on this blog, every song I play for you as DJ iGaze (with the obvious exception of Tom Waits), and every smile laugh giggle inside joke and obvious grammatical punctuational mistake is done with you in mind.

This is the best way I know of to show you how much you mean to me besides just coming out and saying it.  I love you the most in the world, Babe.

I was so totally kidding about the Wal-Mart jewelry for your birthday.  Like I told you this weekend, it’s already taken care of.  Seriously!  There is no way I’m going to repeat the Victoria’s Secret debacle from last year around this time.

I may be a lot of things but I ain’t stupid!  Once was enough for me.

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