If I was asked to compile a list of the most frustrating aspects about having ALS, you might think that not being able to walk or talk or eat by myself or even stand up when I pee would all be vying for the top spot. You can bet your arse that each of those annoying can’t-do-any-mores all crack the top ten but they don’t quite win Worst in Show. No, my friends, that honor is reserved for the current bane of my existence: The Unscratchable Itch.
It doesn’t really matter where that itch is, they are all out of reach when your fingers and arms are just several inches south of non-functional. Even when happenstance lands the occasional itch within a fingernail’s width of scratching, the muscles in my hands lack the strength and fortitude to be truly effective. More often than I would prefer to admit, I am forced to put on my most pathetic face in order to beg my compassionate, benevolent, and extremely beautiful wife Fehmeen to help her poor husband out with a few seconds of scratching.
But that’s not the worst of it.
At least once a day, I will receive a signal in my brain that I am about to get an unbelievably unshakable itch somewhere on my feet. If relief in the form of vigorous scratching isn’t immediately administered, that itch magically transforms into a brought on by a little silver-and-orange-test-your-reflexes-type-of-hammer twitches. Seriously! The spasms and the kicking lasts until I am distracted by something else — usually a sugary snack or a change of channel on our LG flat screen. But based on the lack of early warning coupled with the severity of the magnitude on my personal richter scale, that is why The Itch is numero uno on my list.
Now I toss it to you, my living with ALS siblings-in-arms, what is YOUR unscratchable itch?
The Adventures of ALS Boy 
The very very personal itch… I have been able to ignore many itches but that one never goes away until my wife is able to assist.