One of the so-called perks of accepting nature’s early-age retirement package (aka ALS) is that I have a whole lot more free time than most people I know. So what’s a guy to do with his copious amount of spare time? Well, when I’m not offering up solutions to our nation’s economic woes with the President via our top-secret Blackberry communiques or entertaining Emma with Wiggles videos on Youtube, I am most likely watching a movie somewhere. And once I’ve seen three or four flicks, I’ll give you my take on the films right here on this very website. My dream in doing this is to foster a discussion about the movies we love and the movies we hate, and also to give a non-committal head-nod to those movies we merely tolerate. I also feel like I owed Alia, Clarece, and Lurker something because I chose to shut down my movie review website. Enjoy the latest batch, everyone.
Sunshine Cleaning. While it was great to see two of my favorite actresses (Amy Adams and Emily Blunt) score lead roles in a movie of this pedigree (a small budget “indie” picture), I couldn’t help but feel slightly underwhelmed by the end of the film. Sure, it was entertaining and all, but to me, the final fates of the characters seemed a bit too convenient for my liking. That being said, I would happily rent it at Blockbuster just to see if my opinion would change at all during a second viewing. Maybe my lukewarm feeling about this film is the by-product of the unwarranted stigma of being dubbed this year’s Little Miss Sunshine: I felt equally under-impressed by Juno, which was last year’s version of LMS. Grade: B-
Enchanted. I remember making the decision to go and see Enchanted the first time I saw an ad for it on tv. After waiting weeks for the film to hit the theaters, Fehmeen and I finally found some time to go to the movies during the Friday after Thanksgiving 2007. The only problem was that Fehmeen had absolutely zero interest in seeing “a cartoon”. So rather than getting into a fight about which movie to see, we decided to go our separate ways for two hours: I saw Enchanted and Fehmeen saw This Christmas. Sure, I eventually got over feeling self-conscious at being the only solo thirty-something male in an audience comprised of mothers and children, and by the time the film began, I found myself being whisked away to the animated land of Andalasia while humming the cheerful chorus of “True Love’s Kiss”. I loved the movie then and I’ve loved it every other time I’ve watched it (including the two times I saw it recently on HBO in less than a 24 hour period). And for the record, Fehmeen loves it now, too: We even own the DVD. Grade: A-
Adventureland. I went into the film expecting a broad, dumbed-down, lowest common denominator teen comedy but what I got instead was something infinitely more satisfying. Adventureland is a smart and funny late-eighties period piece that deftly encapsulates the look and more importantly, the attitude, of the era. The story is written such that the characters are given ample room to breathe and grow in a natural and believable way thus allowing the relationships forged between them to unspool at a slower than genre-typical fashion which, in turn, affords the audience the opportunity to savor the intricacies of the actors’ performances, which ultimately results in a truly enjoyable movie experience. Whew. The only bummer, for me, is the lack of a commercially available soundtrack CD. iTunes, here I come. Grade: A-
Knowing. The warnings signs were there. First, previews for Knowing began to appear in theaters a good six weeks before the release date. Then came the onslaught of television spots soon after. Third, when was the last time Nicolas Cage starred in a good movie? (By my calculations it’s been seven years since Adaptation came out in 2002. Perhaps your number is less than mine if you enjoyed such classics as The Weather Man, Ghost Rider, or Bangkok Dangerous). Anyway, regardless of the plethora of available information out there telling me that this movie would suck, I still went to see it with Ameer and J2. And guess what? It did suck. In fact, it sucked so much that my friend J2 was able to sum the Knowing experience up in one sentence: “We would have been better off not Knowing.” I agree. Grade: D
The Adventures of ALS Boy 
Yay!!!! Thank you! Thank you! I was wondering whether Adventureland would be worth a watch. I’ll definitely have to put it on my list of movies to see 🙂
For the record, “Matchstick Men” (2003) WAS a good Nicolas Cage movie. But certainly not a classic. Still, your point remains: Nicolas Cage no longer makes good movies.
I agree with you completely about “Enchanted.” Amy Adams has become one of my favorite actors. You have seen it multiple times but I can do you one better: I bought the soundtrack for my car. Sorry to hear your neutral review of “Sunshine Clearing.” It was on my list of movies to see. Thanks for the heads up. I also loved Amy Adams in “Ms. Pettigrew” and “De-Lovely”