Confessions of a Flat Screen Junkie

I enjoy watching television. Really, I do. Besides reading a book, comic, or magazine, listening to music, browsing the internet, writing my three blogs, eating food by the truckload, playing with Emma, chilling with Fehmeen, going to the movies, sleeping in on weekends, people watching, wreaking havoc in my wheelchair, laughing twenty-four seven, conning people into behaving badly on my behalf, and being the sexy beast that I am, I love nothing more than to grab me some couch and zone out in front of a shiny flat screen tv.

And just in case you are the slightest bit interested, here’s what’s been on my radar lately:

The Bachelor. After spending the entire season showing the audience what a great and solid guy he was, Bachelor Jason not only ruined his reputation but his dignity as well during the drama-filled, post-finale After the Final Rose show. To get you non-viewers up to speed, Jason had to choose between two women, either Molly or Melissa, to be his fiance and he chose Melissa. Six weeks (in real time) or one minute later (in tv time), Jason broke off his engagement to Melissa because he still had feelings for Molly. A rightfully pissed off Melissa returned the ring to Jason and exited stage left. Molly joined Jason onstage, and after hearing him out and agreeing to give their relationship another chance, the reunited couple proceeded to get their mack on. Wowsers! The whole spectacle was edge of your seat viewing. Personally, this Jason would have chosen the Canadian girl, Jillian.

Celebrity Apprentice. I know the new season just started but I’m already finding myself missing last season’s cast, particularly Piers, Trace, and Stephen. Hopefully this year’s crew will grow on me. I’m calling my shot here: Jesse James vs Clint Black in the finale.

HD. High def programming is the visual equivalent of fine wine. Once you’ve sipped from the Cup of HD, everything else tastes like ripple from a box. I’d watch wind blow in high def.

American Idol. I am digging the four judge format as well as the new way the producers are building the top twelve. Most of the folks not moving forward were lousy singers anyway. Except Norman Gentle. I hope the judges bring him back as a wild card.

Flight of the Conchords. I get positively giddy when I hear the theme music because I know that the next half hour will be filled with completely dry and random humor. I preferred last year’s songs to this year’s songs but from what I saw on a making-of special, Jemaine said that where last year they wrote episodes around a song, this year they are writing the song to fit the episode. An added benefit about this season: new songs are available for download after the episode airs. Gotta love Sugalumps.

East Bound & Down. What happens when a ‘roid-rage Major League relief pitcher loses his fastball while burning through his fifteen minutes and is forced to take a job as a substitute middle school gym teacher? Mix in heavy doses of foul language, drinking, drug use, actors/producers Danny McBride and Will Farrell and you have HBO’s next breakout hit. To quote the great Kenny Powers, “You’re f****n’ out!!”

Plug time. What do you mean, you haven’t been checking out my other two blogs? Look to the right under Blogrolls and get to clicking. One’s about music and the other’s about movies. Thanks for your support.

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